Good friends make good farts. This may fly in the face of conventional wisdom about good company, but good company sounds to me like people you don’t know or even like very much. Flatus and I have reached a turning point in our tenuous relationship. It hasn’t ended in a ceasefire, but instead we’ve each found some room to air our concerns in the safe, welcoming space of beloved friends and family.
Sometime before 4th grade I remember David Schmidt bragging that his dad’s thunderous farts shook the walls of their fancy subdivision home. I doubted the truth of his claim, but, more importantly, I was appalled by his celebration of the ass’s gases. I considered the unsettling realization that these obnoxious, smelly things so glorified by the men and condemned by the women in my own family were also dominating the airwaves in other homes. Today I wonder if farts are so gendered in other countries as they are here.
Human beings around the world produce on average ½ to 1 full liter of flatus per person per day and in many cultures farting is considered a source of both humor and embarrassment. All 7 billion of us are capable of fouling up the air and either trying to hide it or getting a good chuckle out of it. That’s comforting to me. What’s distressing is that many of us can only relate to them with painful feelings of shame or excessive celebration.
I am always a little bewildered by the pride many men have about the production of a loud and noxious anal explosion, but I’ll try to be careful not to condemn anyone’s relating to their bodies. We’ve had enough of that. However, I am proud to have made progress with my personal impasse with gas. This breaking of ground with the breaking of wind is growing out of deep friendships based on trust, love, service, and real intimacy. In this fertile ground grows the capacity to begin claiming all of ourselves in ways that are neither boastful nor shameful, but honest and comfortable. The first few times meeting your girlfriend’s parents is probably a good time to hold it in, but you know you’re on the right track when her dad lets one rip in front of you.
Humans in many cultures seem to relate to their bodies in awkward ways when it comes to things like farts, sex, and food. My hope is that we can find some comfort and freedom in developing the friendships and community that will love and accept us in our humanness.
